Running barefoot on Grand Anse Beach, Grenada, West Indies
To say that this last month and a half has been a struggle is an understatement. Where do I begin? I really could go into all of the reasons why I have let my training slide. I can tell myself, and you, all kinds of excuses. They would be good ones too. The emotional roller coaster I've been riding - living life in uncertainty and limbo is now the norm instead of the exception. To literally not know my next steps in the coming months are taking their toll on someone who always had everything planned out to the letter. The psychological challenges are now married to the physical challenges of constant infections, fevers, and crazy reactions to swarms of biting sand flies. For someone who doesn't take pills - being knocked out on anti-histamine medication and taking two more weeks worth of antibiotics after just coming off a week's round of them is certainly humbling. We live in a house with no AC, and the heat of the Caribbean summers are taking their toll on my motivation and body fluids. I'm not drinking enough, not eating correctly, and my workouts are tanking. My poor health perfectly reflects my choices these last few months. However, if it's a priority, you do it. End of story. It hasn't been a priority. To be honest, not much has...
So where does this leave me? The good thing about living is that today is always the first day of the rest of your life. I'm going to choose to turn things around. Whether I have help or motivation from others, or whether the motivation just comes from within, I won't make excuses anymore. I love being an athlete. I am still an athlete - just not the one I was before. But, muscles have just as much memory as my mind. Training commences now, at 3 a.m. June 1st, 2012.
My first goal is to start training alone. Sadly, I'm so far out of shape, I can't bear to face my triathlon team yet. I was already the slowest one before my month-long crash. I have to get a few weeks of base training down and drop some weight first. So, my goal is to do at least six workouts per week for the next two weeks, then re-evaluate where I am at this point to determine whether I can join my team again. They are training for the Miami 70.3 in October. I really want to at least be ready to join them. We may not be able to afford it, as it's looking like the trip, hotel, and flight may run close to $1000, but I at least want to be race ready should I find a cheaper route.
I also am going back to raw vegan. I don't know how long I will stay on it, but I keep trying to eat just vegan but just slide back into the carb and dairy realm again. I have to accept that as long as I have a husband with a humming-bird metabolism who likes to eat things I can't and has little interest in exercise, I won't be able to even dip my toe in the water with him or I get sucked in. I wish I could do this whole moderation thing of 80% raw and 20% cooked, but I can't seem to keep that balance. Going raw and knowing that if I eat cooked I will get sick seems to be the only way I can achieve my racing weight and my optimum health. I know that seems extreme, and I don't really know how to reconcile it. I don't want to be someone who is rude when I eat with others and not eat what they eat. Maybe on those social occasions I will eat cooked food and just deal with the sickness, but at least it won't be too often. I don't want to be an elitist or extremist, but I can't seem to handle moderation. When I get this figured out, I will get back to you!
So, on top of doing six workouts per week at a minimum, I will also go back to fruit smoothies in the morning, salad for lunch, and a veggie juice for dinner. This is a limited-calorie weight loss plan, and I will certainly change it when my weight is back to where I want it. This is also the cheapest way to eat raw here, as nuts are so expensive, making my nut-based recipes is pricy. This will be a very bland diet for a bit, but needed. My husband and I will just have to go our separate ways on diet, and I will have to steel my willpower to look all those amazing foods in the face and say "No!"
I will try to keep this more updated so you can all follow my progress. I really do want accountability, and this is the only way I know to have it. So, get ready! It's time to bring it! No looking back! And no stopping this time, no matter what my future holds! If you want to join me in finding your inner athlete, let me know! I love company!
